Applying for Research (REU) in Statistics- Essay Review ?

So there were two questions that I needed to answer :

Explain why you have chosen your current major.

I was first introduced to Statistics, my major, in 12th grade while preparing for the common proficiency test conducted for students wanting to pursue accountancy. Studying topics like probability, distributions, regression modeling fascinated me of the scope, applications and possibilities of the subject. I had always enjoyed mathematics and numbers, yet never took it up passionately because it was largely based on the assumption of a bunch of axioms. It was never ‘real’, so to speak. Statistics on the other hand, was deductive and analytical, attributes that made it much more useful in the actual interpretation of data. It was here that I decided to not pursue accountancy and apply for a major in Statistics, a discipline that was not only integral to every occupation there was, but also incorporated subjects that I have always loved- mathematics, computers and to an extent-economics.

Describe your interest in the field of Statistics.

For me the world had always been an uncertain place with a multitude of perplexing random events happening in a multitude of places. It was a chaos and I believed it to be so till I was first introduced to the subject of Statistics in grade 12. Distributions, probability, expectations and modeling at once gripped my interest because it took into account the errors in real life and very soon, I found myself wanting to dig deeper. It was called the science of uncertainty and yet it was the closest to finding ways of making sense of this chaos. I realized how there was data everywhere, in every sphere of life; all rendered useless in the absence of a comprehensive way to understand it, or to be precise, in the absence of statistical tools. Unlike mathematics which was highly structured, statistics beautifully separated signal from noise. Consequently, I decided to get a Bachelor in Science with a major in Statistics for my under graduation. I was reassured of my decision when in my Professor’s first address to the class he said, ‘As statisticians, we will never have the privilege to be certain of our claims, but at least we are as real as it gets’. I thoroughly enjoyed my curriculum which gradually progressed from calculus, algebra and basic probability to more advanced and application-based classes of the same. Always on the lookout to promote my interests, I immersed myself in research projects with my Professors in college and outside. I am currently working on a research paper under my mentor to fittingly predict rainfall on the basis of data collected over a span of 100 years and honestly, I have never enjoyed anything more. I hope to foster this passion of mine and be a part of this research program for the same.
I did ! I will definitely put that in. However, the problem is, I am from India and a 80 % mark is supposed to be great for grad school. I don't know if this is how it works in Pittsburgh (I am applying for Carnegie Mellon's REU ).