Statistics Poetry

Karabiner

TS Contributor
#41
Asymptopia
by Peter Sprangers

Come with me and we shall go
a place that only n has known

a kingdom distant and sublime
whose ruler is the greatest prime

a land where infinite sums can rest
and undergrads shall take no test

a place where every child you see
writes poems about the C.L.T.

where cdf's converge to one
and every day is filled with sun.

where we can jump time's famous hurdle
and watch Achilles beat the turtle

and every stat plucked from a tree
is, without proof, U.M.V.U.E.

where joy o'erflows the cornucopia
in this, the land of Asymptopia.
 

fed2

Active Member
#42
My Cat And Me (ballad of identifiability)

Oh! My cat, my cat and me
sing this song of identifiability

For if the mathematician
cannot fit a solution snug
there the statistician
must also shrug
 

fed2

Active Member
#43
Beware the Bayesian (an epic tale in 3 parts)

Part One: A villain appears


Through the smog and slimy hollows
Creeps an evil fiendish fellow
whose heart is cold,
and beliefs are prior,
he throws small children
into fires

with skin of scales,
teeth like knives
god forsaken,
no-ones friend
he is the terrible Bayesian

he'll skew your posterior
and make your intervals incredible
he treats the family
pet as edible

hell hurt your sister
he steals when he borrows
He gobbles all your bytes
with his monte carlos

There is but one
who can save us
from this sophist
look there, now cometh
the noble
frequentist.